25 Reasons I Can’t Breathe!

27 Feb

 

No kidding. 25 Reasons I Can’t Breathe! 

 

25 Reasons I Can't Breathe

Photo Credit:SR

 

OOPS! I’m Not Breathing.

Why Not? You May Ask…

I forgot

My damn bra is too tight

I need an APP for that

Too much in love

Screw it, it’s a Snow Day

No Post-It note that says “breathe!”

Scared to death, no iPhone reception

Ask my cat who is on top of me puncturing my right lung with his shark tooth nails

Bad yoga teacher

Was not invited to Vanity Fair Oscar party

Been on the internet all day and neglecting basic functions

In deep meditation or coma, not sure which

Disturbed by image of Madonna in a slutty thong and a walker

Brain fog in L.A. thick as sweet pea soup

Exhausted from juicing, seriously contemplating a key lime cleanse

Damn politicians sucking up all the air on the planet

Taylor Swift asked me not to breathe and she’s so nice

Victim of a drive-by egging

Want to be blue

Could be allergies

House fire blamed on Nutella jar boggles my mind

Too many emails

Busy inspecting water bottle for Superbug bacteria

Still breathless over Lady Gaga and Julie Andrews

Can’t afford a gold Apple Watch

 

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