What gifts don’t YOU want?
In the spirit of LESS materialism… Thank you, but please DON’T buy me the following:
*A sexy Santa gift… especially if I’ve been naughty. What’s with the “We wish you a slutty Xmas!” sentiment? Watch out – Frosty the Snowman is so hot and bothered, he may melt.
*An e-card with a slide share of cutesy farm animals singing Christmas carols. Stay out of my inbox! It’s messy enough in there.
*Your hastily self-published knock-off of 50 Shades of Grey. My head is swimming from the tsunami of self-proclaimed literature out there.
*Yesterday’s technology. That includes a cell phone disguised as a rotary phone. How perverse!
*A truck full of caramelized popcorn in a janitor’s drum. Delivered by a forklift?
*A “Pajamagram.” You can dress it up anyway you want, but it’s still pajamas for Christmas. (Thanks, grandma.)
*A Rubik’s Cube for the Blind. A Rubik’s Cube for the non-blind. Equally annoying cube.
+ a holiday bonus GIFT
*Neck ties for my wine bottles. (Pull-ease! It’s hard enough to get my husband to wear one.)