7 Christmas Gifts I DON’T Want
18 Dec
What gifts don’t YOU want?
Rubik’s Cube Collection (Photo credit: Scarygami)
In the spirit of LESS materialism… Thank you, but please DON’T buy me the following:
*A sexy Santa gift… especially if I’ve been naughty. What’s with the “We wish you a slutty Xmas!” sentiment? Watch out – Frosty the Snowman is so hot and bothered, he may melt.
*An e-card with a slide share of cutesy farm animals singing Christmas carols. Stay out of my inbox! It’s messy enough in there.
*Your hastily self-published knock-off of 50 Shades of Grey. My head is swimming from the tsunami of self-proclaimed literature out there.
*Yesterday’s technology. That includes a cell phone disguised as a rotary phone. How perverse!
*A truck full of caramelized popcorn in a janitor’s drum. Delivered by a forklift?
*A “Pajamagram.” You can dress it up anyway you want, but it’s still pajamas for Christmas. (Thanks, grandma.)
*A Rubik’s Cube for the Blind. A Rubik’s Cube for the non-blind. Equally annoying cube.
+ a holiday bonus GIFT
*Neck ties for my wine bottles. (Pull-ease! It’s hard enough to get my husband to wear one.)
Bottle Tie
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I would like to add to this list: a car caddy, a Snuggie (SO 3 years ago), neck pillows filled with some sort of grain that inevitably leaks all over the house, scented things you plug in that shoot “stylish” odors, gluten free anything, candles that are battery operated, and last but not least–a cheese log.
Good choices, Molly! I think the Pajamagram is the new Snuggie. I so agree – why must EVERYTHING be gluten-free?
What I hear you saying is a pair of Stompeez and a cake pop maker are number 1 and 2 on your list respectively.
Thanks, Poppy. Excellent guess
“Stompeez” = “slippers with a personality disorder.”
I also don’t want any cleaning devices or wrinkle removing creams!
Yes! Cleaning devices like… a Swiffer or (God forbid) a vacuum!