Spring Cleaning for Slobs

20 Mar

English: Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Logo

English: Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

HAPPY SPRING!

IT MUST BE SPRING SOMEWHERE –

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS…

SPRING CLEANING FOR SLOBS!

UGH! I HATE CLEANING AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

BUT IT’S TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING WHEN…

1.   The icy dirt on your wood floors is starting to defrost.

2.   You can write a YA trilogy in the dust on your furniture.

3.   The sofa in front of the TV has more crumbs under the cushions than a casino lounge.

4.   Spiders have built cobwebs – and large families – in your cleaning supplies.

5.   “House hygiene” is not in your lexicon.

6.   The spots on your kitchen counter are moving faster than you can say, “Penny Pig pigged out on a pile of pepperoni goat cheese pizzas every day ’til she puked with chest pain.”

7.   The dog won’t rub his keester across your carpet ‘cause it’s so filthy.

8.   Your husband has changed more than the sheets on your bed.

9.   College students think you’re a messy slob.

Mr. Clean's logo.

Mr. Clean’s logo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

10.  Mosquitoes are breeding in the puddle by the toilet.

11. Mr. Clean is stalking you.

12.  Martha Stewart has you on a hit list!

Join me on Twitter!  I’m @HaBarb

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0Unported License
English: Martha Stewart Show Logo

English: Martha Stewart Show Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Enhanced by Zemanta

8 Responses to “Spring Cleaning for Slobs”

  1. Suzanne Lucas March 20, 2014 at 9:10 am #

    Lol, oh boy, if the dog isn’t dragging his butt on the floor, you know it’s baaaadd…

    The hardest part about spring cleaning is that when you’re finally done, it’s time to start over again. Ugh. That’s probably why I hire a cleaning lady.

    Good luck with that spring cleaning!

    • Barb Best March 21, 2014 at 11:28 am #

      Thank you, Suzanne. Dogs are such natural slobs, aren’t they?

  2. Abby March 21, 2014 at 10:28 am #

    I’m very OCD with cleaning my house on a regular basis, but considering I’m in Michigan and we’re in the midst of another “arctic blast” for two weeks, I refuse to do Spring Cleaning. Until it actually feels like spring I’m staging a protest. Martha be damned…

    • Barb Best March 21, 2014 at 11:27 am #

      Abby, I support your protest! Count me in – even though it’s 70 degrees in L.A.

  3. Amy Sherman March 22, 2014 at 2:17 pm #

    Love “your husband has changed more than the sheets…” Very funny stuff!

    • Barb Best March 25, 2014 at 9:48 am #

      Thanks for dropping by, Amy!

  4. Lois Alter Mark March 24, 2014 at 9:45 am #

    Uh oh, I can relate to more of these than I’d like to admit! Better get moving!

    • Barb Best March 24, 2014 at 1:08 pm #

      Yes, Lois – get movin’ and make Martha proud!

Leave a Reply