Be My Funny Valentine

7 Feb

 

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to demonstrate some self-love.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give yourself a hug. Indulge your senses. Treat yourself.

The pressure is on!  Satisfy yourself!

Need a quickie fun gift for YOU (okay… or a loved one) for Valentine’s Day?

How ’bout My Funny Valentine paperback or ebook?

BarbBestMyFunnyValentine

* Less calories than a box of luscious chocolate truffles.

* Funnier than fudge.

* Cheaper than French champagne.

* Stays fresh longer than a bunch of sagging, flaccid grocery store flowers.

* More invigorating than a hot oil massage.

* Perfect for regifting.

* Women love books, dude!

* So many entertaining writers are in it.

* Number #1 (self-love) reason – I’m in it!  “Hilarious bits by Barb Best”

* Amazon reviews are unanimous – My Funny Valentine is a lot of laughs!

“To learn to love, you must laugh.”

To laugh, you can buy this “treasure of a book” at  Amazon

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7 Signs Your Cats and Dogs Are Gifted

1 Feb

 

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” [...]

Is Your Brain Full?

24 Jan

 

Are you full?

According to a recent study, “older” people’s brains are full… so that’s why they tend to respond slower than your average recalcitrant fifteen year old.

Can we have too much knowledge?

Too many experiences?

Too many memories?

Is this a form of mental constipation?

Will there be a pill to clear out our memory caches and brain clutter?

* Great article by Emily Thomas in The Huffington Post:

Older People’s Brains May Be Slower, But Only Because They Know So Much, Study Says

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: 01/22/2014 7:47 am EST  |  Updated: 01/22/2014 7:59 am EST

huff.to/1dUeo4p  

Younger people are skeptical… Ya think?

 

CLICK>> http://www.pinterest.com/pin/112941903129397683/

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Stupid V Question Answered

18 Jan

 

BTW I feel your flu and fever pain.

BarbBestSmileClose-Up

Inspired by Naomi Wolf‘s controversial book, Vagina: A New Biography

this was a real question from HARO (Help A Reporter Out):

“Do You Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Vagina?” (Frugivore)

My response:

Why, thank you for asking! This is a question dear to my heart, my “IN-ny” belly button, and my G Spot.

Oh yes, my vagina and I enjoy many lovely times together. We walk on the beach, we contemplate beautiful sunsets, we share moonlit dinners on the Palazzo. My goodness, we even shower together on a regular basis. Wink, wink.

We rarely have cross words, however once a month things get a little touchy, if not downright brutal. You know what I mean.

But most of the time, my vagina has a terrific sense of humor. Why when I’m down, she makes me laugh.  She lifts me up.

Geez, the most awe-inspiring time we had was when we gave birth together! Wow! Hard to top that.

Maybe my vagina will write a memoir some day.  She’s actually quite gifted.  The title can be: Vaginas Just Wanna Have Fun.

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

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If It’s January, Those Must Be Vitamins You’re Popping

11 Jan

VitaminaniaBarbBest

It’s January.  You are especially mindful of your health. You are exercising. You are resisting being seduced by the Valentine’s Day chocolate that is (don’t look!) everywhere.

And like a good little soldier, you are taking your multivitamins and supplements.

Hmm. What do you think of the name of this multivitamin for boomer women 50+?

Barb Best Humor

“Alive!”  Not setting the bar too high there, are we?

Guess the one for women 60+ is called “Barely Alive!” [...]

Is Your Pet a Party Pooper?

4 Jan

 

Pets… can’t live with them; can’t live without them.

FYI – I am both a dog person and a cat person.

Dogs will swallow anything (you know what I mean).

However, we expect more from cats. They are the mere embodiment of discernment. They control their unbridled enthusiasm. They appreciate understatement. They are refined.  Above all, they are really fussy eaters.

But, no. On the busiest party night of the year, pussy cat has swallowed something festive and is decking the halls with projectile vomit and decorating the hearth with (use your imagination).

Ho. Ho. Ho. Forget that fancy dinner dance with “A” list celebrities. Forget the overpriced, hand sequined killer outfit you bought for this special occasion. Forget the stardust and forgive the feline. We’re off to see the ER vet! [...]

What I Learned In 2013

26 Dec

Life is a teaching moment. Or a learning moment. Whatever. I feel your pain.

Here’s what I learned in 2013:

IMG_1414BBestCredit

  • Do NOT purchase a dining table on the internet. Not unless you and the family enjoy the novelty of Thanksgiving Dinner picnic-style on the living room floor with the pets.
  • “Try yoga. I hear that helps!” is the new “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” [...]

Merry Christmas Baby!

20 Dec

 

Wishing YOU a Merry Christmas! And a week full of light and laughter!

IMG_4005BarbBestCredit

The best part is the anticipation, don’t you think? [...]

Affirmations 4 U

12 Dec

 

affirmation stones and chopsticks with clipping path
LAUGHABLE AFFABLES FOR YOU!

Affirmations from the heart & liver:

Repeat after me…

I am humble.

I am happy.

I am mellow.

Dang it. I am downright swellow.

PLEASE note that affirmations are more effective if you are not chewing, nibbling, sucking, slurping, imbibing, scratching or inhaling.

Close BOTH eyes.  

I am calm… [...]

This Is Your Brain On The Holidays

6 Dec

 

The holidays can be overwhelming… we are bombarded with too much of a good thing: work, play, kids, relatives, parties, wine, chocolate, candy, shopping, cloying music, fattening food, holiday spirits – and that’s just online.

Your truculent toddler isn’t the only one who needs a quiet time out in a dark corner! Your brain needs a time out, too.

 

“Easy as pie… did someone say PIE?”

 

Pity your poor besieged brain cells. Why not pamper them with a mini-meditation break?

Think of MEDITATION as a well-deserved respite for you and your 50 shades of gray matter – only you don’t have to lock yourself in the bathroom with a jug of cheap chardonnay. [...]