Interview With Author Tracy Beckerman’s Puppy

7 Mar

 

By popular demand… THE interview with Tracy’s DOG (April 1st, 2013)

Tracy will be a workshop session presenter at The Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop on April 10 -12.

Author Tracy Beckerman & Her Puppy Monty

Funny new book by popular columnist Tracy Beckerman!  Lost In Suburbia: A Momoir  How I got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs

Tracy gave us an exclusive… an interview with her fetching puppy Monty.

TracyBeckerman

LostInSuburbia

Monty

“The Scoop” with Monty B.

Monty, you’re even cuter than Tracy’s cell phone pics and Facebook videos. How do you maintain your playful, perky, puppy style? How old are you?

I turned 7 months old on March 26.  I maintain my youthful glow through a combination of diet (puppy chow and chewing on smelly sneakers) and exercise (I like to grab socks from the laundry basket and then Tracy chases me through the house to get them back).

What’s it like to sleep at Tracy’s feet while she writes her popular syndicated humor column Lost In Suburbia? Are you her real inspiration?

As a puppy, I have a lot of energy. So I find it hard to just sleep at her feet when she is writing. Instead, I’m inclined to jump up and pound the keys with my paws. This makes her column look like this:

afjkasdkfjweoi tjkrvms,d mas,c.kasjfakjfoipewj!!

For some reason, Tracy seems to find this very annoying.  However, I’ve read her column, and i think this is an improvement. Just kidding.  That’s a little retriever humor. […]

Advice You Know You Want It

27 Feb

 

Who needs advice from Dear Abby or Oprah

when everyone has their two cents worth?

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk ...

English: Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

WTH HERE’S MINE :-D

  • Don’t hire a life coach who doesn’t have a life – or at least a nice dog.
  • Never go to the grocery store at noon on a Monday – it’s such a good time for a lemon cleanse anyway – not.
  • If you insist upon racing snowboards or motorcycles – make sure you have health insurance and someone to drive you to your doctor’s appointments for five months.
  • If you can’t stand the heat in the kitchen – don’t cook. Order take-out.
  • Remember – menopause passes, but male mid-life crisis is forever. […]

Stir Crazy! Cabin Fever!

20 Feb

Cover of "Stir Crazy"

Cover of Stir Crazy

 

Prisoners of winter… I feel your pain.

The frigid weather is getting you down.

You are sick and tired of ice, sleet, snow, and single-digit temperatures.

One blizzard is a novelty; five is torture.

You may be going clinically stir crazy from being confined inside.

Feeling irritable, listless, achy, unproductive, homicidal?

More than usual, that is?

Your symptoms could be due to something totally unrelated:

PMS, hot flashes, African equine fever, tax time, or writer’s block.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka cabin fever, stir crazy, bonkers) is common… especially where the sun don’t shine – like the East Coast.

Let us diagnose you…

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE CABIN FEVER

  • You’re reading your friends’ blogs.
  • You’ve done so much online shopping – your mail carrier has a hernia.
  • The light on your cell phone screen doubles as a therapy light box. […]

Got Milk?

15 Feb

 

IMG_1790

 

True or False?

“Men won’t buy the cow if the milk is free.”

Duh! True –  if he’s lactose intolerant.

With “A Little Valentine’s Day Straight Talk: Young women in college need to smarten up and start husband-hunting

Susan Patton has raised important issues regarding young women, men, marriage, and happiness.

Nina Bahadur makes good points in her response in The Huffington Post

Interesting opinion from a man “Susan Patton Told The Truth” by James Taranto

Alexandra Petri has a hilarious take in The Washington Post

Before we become sucked up by and scarred from the intellectual “Mommy Advice Wars” cat fight –

How about changing the question… “Will women buy the cow if the milk is free?” […]

Be My Funny Valentine

7 Feb

 

Valentine’s Day is an excellent occasion to demonstrate some self-love.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Give yourself a hug. Indulge your senses. Treat yourself.

The pressure is on!  Satisfy yourself!

Need a quickie fun gift for YOU (okay… or a loved one) for Valentine’s Day?

How ’bout My Funny Valentine paperback or ebook?

BarbBestMyFunnyValentine

* Less calories than a box of luscious chocolate truffles.

* Funnier than fudge.

* Cheaper than French champagne.

* Stays fresh longer than a bunch of sagging, flaccid grocery store flowers.

* More invigorating than a hot oil massage.

* Perfect for regifting.

* Women love books, dude!

* So many entertaining writers are in it.

* Number #1 (self-love) reason – I’m in it!  “Hilarious bits by Barb Best”

* Amazon reviews are unanimous – My Funny Valentine is a lot of laughs!

“To learn to love, you must laugh.”

To laugh, you can buy this “treasure of a book” at  Amazon

Enhanced by Zemanta

7 Signs Your Cats and Dogs Are Gifted

1 Feb

 

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” […]

Is Your Brain Full?

24 Jan

 

Are you full?

According to a recent study, “older” people’s brains are full… so that’s why they tend to respond slower than your average recalcitrant fifteen year old.

Can we have too much knowledge?

Too many experiences?

Too many memories?

Is this a form of mental constipation?

Will there be a pill to clear out our memory caches and brain clutter?

* Great article by Emily Thomas in The Huffington Post:

Older People’s Brains May Be Slower, But Only Because They Know So Much, Study Says

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: 01/22/2014 7:47 am EST  |  Updated: 01/22/2014 7:59 am EST

huff.to/1dUeo4p  

Younger people are skeptical… Ya think?

 

CLICK>> http://www.pinterest.com/pin/112941903129397683/

Enhanced by Zemanta

Stupid V Question Answered

18 Jan

 

BTW I feel your flu and fever pain.

BarbBestSmileClose-Up

Inspired by Naomi Wolf‘s controversial book, Vagina: A New Biography

this was a real question from HARO (Help A Reporter Out):

“Do You Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Vagina?” (Frugivore)

My response:

Why, thank you for asking! This is a question dear to my heart, my “IN-ny” belly button, and my G Spot.

Oh yes, my vagina and I enjoy many lovely times together. We walk on the beach, we contemplate beautiful sunsets, we share moonlit dinners on the Palazzo. My goodness, we even shower together on a regular basis. Wink, wink.

We rarely have cross words, however once a month things get a little touchy, if not downright brutal. You know what I mean.

But most of the time, my vagina has a terrific sense of humor. Why when I’m down, she makes me laugh.  She lifts me up.

Geez, the most awe-inspiring time we had was when we gave birth together! Wow! Hard to top that.

Maybe my vagina will write a memoir some day.  She’s actually quite gifted.  The title can be: Vaginas Just Wanna Have Fun.

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

Enhanced by Zemanta

If It’s January, Those Must Be Vitamins You’re Popping

11 Jan

VitaminaniaBarbBest

It’s January.  You are especially mindful of your health. You are exercising. You are resisting being seduced by the Valentine’s Day chocolate that is (don’t look!) everywhere.

And like a good little soldier, you are taking your multivitamins and supplements.

Hmm. What do you think of the name of this multivitamin for boomer women 50+?

Barb Best Humor

“Alive!”  Not setting the bar too high there, are we?

Guess the one for women 60+ is called “Barely Alive!” […]

Is Your Pet a Party Pooper?

4 Jan

 

Pets… can’t live with them; can’t live without them.

FYI – I am both a dog person and a cat person.

Dogs will swallow anything (you know what I mean).

However, we expect more from cats. They are the mere embodiment of discernment. They control their unbridled enthusiasm. They appreciate understatement. They are refined.  Above all, they are really fussy eaters.

But, no. On the busiest party night of the year, pussy cat has swallowed something festive and is decking the halls with projectile vomit and decorating the hearth with (use your imagination).

Ho. Ho. Ho. Forget that fancy dinner dance with “A” list celebrities. Forget the overpriced, hand sequined killer outfit you bought for this special occasion. Forget the stardust and forgive the feline. We’re off to see the ER vet! […]