BOO! Sad Songs and Ghosts

18 Oct

 

Forget about Halloween! October is scary for other reasons… especially if you are older than, say, fifteen.

“Some of my best friends are sad songs…” (said ME during a nasty autumn allergy attack AND before my Starbucks this morning)

Sad songs are oddly satisfying when you’re feeling miserable. Like a good cry, listening to them is cathartic. Maybe we can learn to LAUGH at how haunting they can be?

Everyone has a “Pity Party Playlist.” What’s your favorite sad song?

Here are a few for October.  Enjoy!

Edith Piaf drives a stake through your heart with raw emotional beauty. Eat your heart out Twilight. [...]

Meditation for Morons

11 Oct

 

Hmk_Confections

Woo Hoo! Hallmark Cards will contact our lucky winner and mail her a jumbo stash of cool cards. Thank you everybody!

Antique Himalayan bowls (text taken from accom...

Antique Himalayan bowls (text taken from accompanying text at Singing bowl) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

MEDITATION NO-NO’s

1.  Do not chew gum even if it is all natural, organic, and sugar-free. [...]

Birthday? You Send Me!

4 Oct

 

Rumor has it this post is sponsored by Hallmark Cards and their mission to turn a #BirthdayFail into a #BirthdayWin. 

Check it out on Twitter!

812504-201 BirthdayFail Blogger Badge_Final

 

 

 

 

* BTW… A free 10-card pack of assorted Hallmark birthday cards (approximate retail value: $40) to a lucky reader who leaves a comment. Gosh, I love free stuff… don’t you?

 

Hmk_Confections

 

7 Reasons WHY… You SHOULD Send A REAL Birthday Card

1 – A paper birthday card sent through the mail gives you an A+ for effort. Any two-bit robot or spammer can email you “HB.”

2 – Heck, an actual card is almost like a wrapped gift these days. [...]

Need Sleep? 7 MORE Tips!

27 Sep

 

We all need sleep. Especially before we die.  And when there’s nothing left to watch on TV or YouTube.

7 MORE Tips!

Credit:BarbBest

 

1 – Don’t eat an additional large meal after dinner or for two hours before going to bed. This will make your evening so boring, you’re more likely to nod off.

2 – Flush your cell phone down the toilet. I know… blasphemy!

3 -  Don’t let the cat nap during the day – at all.  This is a biggie. Perhaps caffeine in the catnip?

4 – A day chock full of multi-tasking can fray your nerves. Picture a pinball machine on steroids… that’s your brain. Chewing gum and (insert ONE activity) is the only good multi-tasking option.  (TIP: Chewing gum and flossing – not a good choice.)

5 – Family members can be noisy. Fake a business trip and go to a hotel.  This can prove to be expensive. [...]

I Feel Your Pain

20 Sep

 

Barb Best Humor Blog

 

PAIN. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

Pain, of course, is entirely relative.

PAIN - THE NOUN

1) A feeling of marked discomfort, a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: “She has severe pains in her arse, most probably due to sitting at the computer/at work/in the car all day.”

“Jury duty can be quite a pain in the neck.”

“Her boss gives her the most excruciating pain in her head and eyeballs.”

2) Mental suffering or distress : “During the holidays, I am plagued by the pain of listening politely to relatives pontificate on politics, religion, and reality TV.” [...]

Scruffles

13 Sep

 

The Princess & The Peeve

BarbBestBalloon

 

Dwayne Dear,

 

Must I remind you? In our Sole Custody Agreement dictated by the SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, I (the plaintiff and “the mother”) KARLA FLICKER KLIMPFER, beat you (the defendant and “the father”) like a monkey’s brass drum.

 

As the Primary Residential Custodial Parent and the parent entitled to receive feline support on behalf of  “SCRUFFLES,” I would like to bring to your attention the following pressing issues.

 

The court reinstated your visitation rights on alternate weekends of months beginning with an “M” and ending with a “Y.”  Don’t be late.

 

It is important to remember that Scruffles’ nutritionist insists on “Fancy Pants Pussy” Steamed Wild Alaskan Salmon in a champagne consomme. Scruffles and her litter coach will know if you try and pass off those cheapo generic kibbles again. [...]

Jury Duty What Fun

6 Sep

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You can’t avoid the envelope. It has that unmistakable crimson ink branded on jaundiced yet official looking “Penalty by Law” speckled government surplus paper. The kind of sad paper they use in prison bathrooms. [...]

I Feel Your Back To School Pain

30 Aug

 

According to top Health and Wellness Coaches Debbie Schroeder and Lynn Smith in their report 10 ENERGY ZAPPERS and How To Eliminate Them,

“Watching TV can lead to fatigue. The rapid cuts and edits shift your orienting response into overdrive, which leads to fatigue.”  Phooey, I say!

What causes fatigue? Working a job in your kid’s classroom!

It’s elementary, my dear room mother

backtoschool

Dear Ms. Yokelclinger,

I’m happy as Planter’s Punch you are my kid’s teacher this year. I look forward to working like a dog breaking labor laws volunteering tirelessly in the classroom. After a seemingly endless summer keeping my kids entertained, hydrated, fed, culturally stimulated, lathered with sunscreen, and blooming like buttercups, I’m really thrilled to tears to be your complete and total slave parent helper.

Because I am deliriously dedicated to my child’s education, I will be on call 24-7 should you need anything. [...]

True or False?

23 Aug

BOO!  POP Culture POP Quiz!

TRUE or FALSE?

1.   The TLC TV Show “Extreme Cougar Wives” is revolting.

2.   “Extreme Cougar Wives” is encouraging!

“Extreme Cougar Wives explores the exciting lives of women who love much younger men.” – TLC

 

HUFFPOST TV

3.   Next season, you’ll be able to vote one of the wives from TLC TV Network’s “Sister Wives” OFF the show.

The title card for Sister Wives, a TLC reality...

The title card for Sister Wives, a TLC reality television series about a polygamist family. (Photo credit: Wikipedi

4.   Tangerine is not an actual color.  Neither is avocado. [...]

A Public Service Announcement*

16 Aug

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The following is a public service announcement*

#######

It happens.  You know you’ve had too much to drink if…

  1. You’re tweeting celebrities who have notorious anger management issues.
  2. You put your bra on backwards.
  3. You go on an online shopping spree, but don’t enjoy it.
  4. You click on the TV remote to answer your cell phone.
  5. You propose to the cat.
  6. You mistake the coat closet for the bathroom.
  7. You’re considering hiring a pain coach – for your family members.

* Not really.  Just kidding.

Happy Hour ain’t always so happy, but it can be funny.

Carrie Fisher in “Wishful Drinking” – Hilarious!  http://youtu.be/9JdRV3kEl1I

 

CLOWN sensitivity training-intended to sensitize people to their attitudes and behaviors that may unwittingly cause offense to others

 

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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

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