Send In the Damn Clowns

12 Aug

 

SEND IN THE CLOWNS…

[I]t’s a theater reference meaning “if the show isn’t going well, let’s send in the clowns”;

in other words, “let’s do the jokes.” – Stephen Sondheim

 

When asked about Robin Williams, most say “sweet.”  I LOVE this!

 

There’s a classic story about the legendary clown Joseph Grimaldi that comes to mind…

The patient  http://www.historyextra.com/blog/patient [...]

7 Great Ideas That Will Change the World?

7 Aug

 

Everyone wants to change the world.

Great Ideas that will Change the World

(well, maybe just mine or yours )

1. Move to the beach; adopt casual coastal philosophy toward life (and flooring).

 

2. Convert the boring automatic dishwasher in the (duh) kitchen to a wine cooler. Cheers! [...]

Summer Notes To Self: 7 To Ponder

2 Aug

 

 

Scribbled on an iPhone “Notes” APP near you…

 

  • If a stranger tells you, “I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy!” three times in the course of a ten minute conversation in a doctor’s waiting room… take them at their word.  Run for the hills.
  • Overheard at the veterinarian’s office: “Coyotes are cute. I want to hug them all.” Good luck with that…

[...]

I Feel Your Pain – Technical Support

26 Jul

 

We hope that your session with Technical Support was helpful.

Here is the transcript you requested.

Krandeep:  Thank you for contacting Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable. Give me a minute while I access your account.

Me: (grumble, grumble)

Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Hello Ms. Best. How are you today?

Me: In a nutshell… fairly frustrated.

Krandeep: Great to know that.

Me: If I miss the RHONY finale this evening, I’ll never speak to Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable again. I’ll have to steal – I mean stream – all my precious TV shows on the internet like the dead broke – I mean budget-minded – Millenials.

Krandeep: Okay, thank you for that information. [...]

2 Cartoonists You Will Love

19 Jul

 

The New Yorker

The New Yorker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I was weaned on The New Yorker Magazine cartoons.

 

Who doesn’t have a special place in their heart for Charles Schultz and Peanuts?

 

Do you love cartoons?

 

Do you miss the Sunday “funnies” you read as a child? [...]

Are You Kidding Me? Author Stacey Gustafson

16 Jul

 

Writer Stacey Gustafson has a funny blog.

This fall, she will have a funny book out…

 

Gustafson_Cover_FRONT_72dpi

Hop into your minivan and get ready to cruise through the crazies of Suburbia! [...]

7 Signs Your Dog and Your Cat are Gifted!

12 Jul

Yippee! It’s a summer rerun :-D

Cats and dogs

have taken over the internet and social media. Their furry mugs are everywhere…  YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.

There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?

Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.

We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.

Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?

Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted

  • Your pet reveals originality in expression.

“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” [...]

Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog by Lisa Scottoline

5 Jul

 

Listening to and LOVING this audiobook!

ICYMI – Lisa Scottoline and daughter Francesca Serritella at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop:

Mindless Thought For The Day: LIFE IS…

28 Jun

 

Life Is just a bowl of organic, over-priced cherries.

BarbBest Cherries

Life is a day at the nude beach (and I forgot my sunscreen and umbrella hat).

[...]

Boob Job: Feel The Pain

21 Jun

 

Had a boob job yesterday.

BarbBestHumor

Actually… it was a mammogram from hell*

This mammogram was a slammogram.

A grand slammo.

Ladies… you know the drill.

Your bountiful breasts are slammed onto a cold glass panel (oddly similar to a shelf in your refrigerator), then pressed mercilessly ’til your eyes water or your ears bleed (whichever comes first).

Then the technician runs to her safe place across the room and shouts, “Don’t breathe.”

(“Honey… no problem. I stopped breathing with the first cringing slam.”)

Women… feel our pain!

Forget ’bout water boarding. A grueling slammo on private parts will make grown men squeal like rats.

English: Woman undergoing a mammogram of the r...

English: Woman undergoing a mammogram of the right breast (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

*Disclaimer: Truly hellish is “Lumps, cysts, malignancies are suspected and/or found.”

* Don’t forget to schedule your annual mammogram.

* Do jokes need warning labels and legal disclaimers now?

 

 

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