Yippee! It’s a summer rerun
Cats and dogs
have taken over the internet and social media. Their furry mugs are everywhere… YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest. Today Wattpad – tomorrow the world.
There must be a reason for this. Maybe they are really smart?
Perhaps brighter than your average couch potato.
We humans are not always the sharpest swizzle sticks in the mini-bar drawer.
Skip I.Q. tests and tedious assessments. Cats and dogs can be identified as gifted by their families. Is your Monty or Muffy gifted?
Here are 7 Signs Your Cat or Dog is Gifted
- Your pet reveals originality in expression.
“Look, my cat sent me a Valentine. He’s so clever.” [...]
Life Is… just a bowl of organic, over-priced cherries.
Life is… a day at the nude beach (and I forgot my sunscreen and umbrella hat).
Had a boob job yesterday.
Actually… it was a mammogram from hell*
This mammogram was a slammogram.
A grand slammo.
Ladies… you know the drill.
Your bountiful breasts are slammed onto a cold glass panel (oddly similar to a shelf in your refrigerator), then pressed mercilessly ’til your eyes water or your ears bleed (whichever comes first).
Then the technician runs to her safe place across the room and shouts, “Don’t breathe.”
(“Honey… no problem. I stopped breathing with the first cringing slam.”)
Women… feel our pain!
Forget ’bout water boarding. A grueling slammo on private parts will make grown men squeal like rats.
*Disclaimer: Truly hellish is “Lumps, cysts, malignancies are suspected and/or found.”
* Don’t forget to schedule your annual mammogram.
* Do jokes need warning labels and legal disclaimers now?
Do you like puns?
Do you enjoy punning?
Is it true that a pun is the lowest form of wit?
Is a pun fun?
I love the wordplay involved, and even if the pun is a painfully obvious one… I appreciate the intent and the effort.
It’s my observation that most boys/men tend to appreciate punning more than most girls/women, or say, your average cocker spaniel.
Why is this? Perhaps because the male species is accustomed to playing with… their food? Their cars? Or whatever?
Fun Signs I have spotted:
“Catfish In The Rye”
“Go ahead. Mako my day!”
“Weapons of Bass Destruction”
Here’s to more restaurants with a sense of play! Bon appetitter.
“I’ll sleep when I die!” – Lady Gaga
I am proud to announce…
I have made a significant discovery which will advance science and help humankind.
TA DA! [...]
“There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.”
― Tennessee Williams
You’re so vain…
You probably think this post is about you! Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t you?
You’d be wrong
Vanity car license plates… I am obsessed with them.
Not surprisingly, in Los Angeles, vanity car plates are as common as DD breast implants and Botox.
One would expect a plethora of personalized plates in a community whose members are both incredibly vain and supremely creative.
Vanity car plates often share an entertaining spirit of play and fun. Often the words form a puzzle to solve – perfect for wordsmiths like me sitting in gridlock. “GR8INBD” “STARGAZR” “1 LYNER” [...]
Summer Time and the livin’ is… easy?
Maybe if you ignore your mile-long “TO DO” List.
Chuck it – Yes! – Chuck that Summer Sand Bucket List!
My Summer “TO DO” List is starting to resemble my annual “New Year Resolutions.”
Not a bad time to recycle.
My TO DO List for SUM-SUM-SUM SUMMER:
- Do nothing. (Unfortunately, so much harder than it sounds. Like meditation or quitting caffeine.)