Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Enclosed is your annual Valentine’s Day evaluation. Comments will address key aspects of your holiday performance.
1. You receive above average marks on maintaining a positive attitude for most of the evening. We’ll forgive (but not forget) the grumbling under your breath when I sweetly requested you serenade me with “Baby.”
2. You demonstrated initiative and creativity (albeit with my constant prodding and direction) by making plum restaurant reservations for the mandatory romantic dinner.
3. You enthusiastically participated in the consuming of the extravagant calorie laden meal and (especially) the drinking of the inordinately over-priced French champagne.
4. Needs improvement. It is acutely evident that you need to work on the development of greater concentration skills (soup spoons are not percussion instruments) and on becoming a better listener. [...]