What I Learned In 2013

26 Dec

Life is a teaching moment. Or a learning moment. Whatever. I feel your pain.

Here’s what I learned in 2013:

IMG_1414BBestCredit

  • Do NOT purchase a dining table on the internet. Not unless you and the family enjoy the novelty of Thanksgiving Dinner picnic-style on the living room floor with the pets.
  • “Try yoga. I hear that helps!” is the new “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”
  • Cats should not celebrate the holiday season by lapping up leftover eggnog and swallowing curling ribbon. It does not end well or cheaply.
  • Don’t go to a dentist who can’t smile.
  • OMG! We are all going to die. Even you. Maybe even me.
  • When it feels like a flat tire, it most likely is a flat tire. Denial won’t get you anywhere.
  • Certain older women (you know who you are) wear too much perfume. It’s worse than bovine flatulence and probably causes global warming.
  • Never argue with barking dogs, especially a Rotweiler with a rap sheet or a chihuahua with a body image problem.
  • Don’t buy a condo, car, or healthcare plan from a sales associate donning flip-flops, a poodle skirt, and a clown nose.
  • You can study for a hearing test all you want… it ain’t gonna help.
  • Singers faking retirement is tedious, especially if they are 15 years old. Justin Bieber, I’m talking to you!
  • Everything I need to know about fashion and style was on the TV show What Not To Wear.
  • Don’t joke tweet about the Pope, especially if your comment is snarky or (God forbid!) sexual in nature. DUH.

Whoosh! Another year has passed like a kidney stone.

What did YOU learn in 2013?

Like me on FB & feel the good karma coming your way! Thanks!

 

Creative Commons License
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

Enhanced by Zemanta

4 Responses to “What I Learned In 2013”

  1. Jerry Zezima December 31, 2013 at 6:34 am #

    Hilarious, Barb! I have had kidney stones and they haven’t exactly passed in a whoosh, but this is still great. Happy New Year!

    • Barb Best December 31, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

      Whoosh! I feel your pain. Happy New Year, Jerry!

  2. Cat January 2, 2014 at 9:48 pm #

    My Dad actually watched my Mum take her hearing test and timed when the beeps were so he could do better on his test that she did haha.
    I learned that being the sibling without children of their own makes me the automatic “please babysit our children so we can go out, get drunk and reclaim our lost youth” contact. Strangely I don’t often feel the need to go out and get drunk so I figure there is some kind of direct correlation between the number of children one has and how much alcohol they feel it is necessary to consume. I think my middle brother wins, his 1 year old son spends much of his day wandering about the house trying to squeal higher than their tea kettle!

    • Barb Best January 3, 2014 at 9:11 am #

      That’s funny about your Dad! Competitive parents are a blast. Although correlation does not always = cause… excellent observation on being a parent and increased alcohol consumption :-)

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge