Life is a teaching moment. Or a learning moment. Whatever. I feel your pain.
Here’s what I learned in 2013:
- Do NOT purchase a dining table on the internet. Not unless you and the family enjoy the novelty of Thanksgiving Dinner picnic-style on the living room floor with the pets.
- “Try yoga. I hear that helps!” is the new “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”
- Cats should not celebrate the holiday season by lapping up leftover eggnog and swallowing curling ribbon. It does not end well or cheaply.
- Don’t go to a dentist who can’t smile.
- OMG! We are all going to die. Even you. Maybe even me.
- When it feels like a flat tire, it most likely is a flat tire. Denial won’t get you anywhere.
- Certain older women (you know who you are) wear too much perfume. It’s worse than bovine flatulence and probably causes global warming.
- Never argue with barking dogs, especially a Rotweiler with a rap sheet or a chihuahua with a body image problem.
- Don’t buy a condo, car, or healthcare plan from a sales associate donning flip-flops, a poodle skirt, and a clown nose.
- You can study for a hearing test all you want… it ain’t gonna help.
- Singers faking retirement is tedious, especially if they are 15 years old. Justin Bieber, I’m talking to you!
- Everything I need to know about fashion and style was on the TV show What Not To Wear.
- Don’t joke tweet about the Pope, especially if your comment is snarky or (God forbid!) sexual in nature. DUH.
Whoosh! Another year has passed like a kidney stone.
What did YOU learn in 2013?
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I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License