What’s 1) short and sweet 2) fast and funny 3) a collection of one-liners and quotes on love, sex, life, pain, health, aging 4) like a friggin’ box of tasty truffles but less fattening and only $2.99 on Amazon for heaven’s sake 5) an “entertaining little ebook you will treasure!”
1. Location. Location. Location. You are reclining in a cozy donut pool float, gloriously buzzed on Jamaican rum cocktails, drifting in the balmy blue Caribbean… but a hungry shark has a hankering for your pricey, dutifully applied 70 SPF face lotion.
2. Politics. You’ve stopped screaming like a banshee at the election year coverage on the cable news channels.
3. Loss of thirst for your favorite wine, Chateau St. Jean French Chardonnay. Say it ain’t so.
4. Sex. You no longer consider vaginal rejuvenation a viable option.
5. Money. Compulsive couponing has lost its charm. You really can’t take that extra 15 cents with you? Damn.
1. If war is hell, moving is a close second. When you put your home on the market, it has to look “livable,” but not “lived in.” Confused? So was I…
2. My husband is still addicted to The Magic Eraser. But it can’t make dirty underwear disappear.
3. Famous folks in the comedy world think my book is funny. Who? Bruce Cameron, Jenny Hagel, Tracy Beckerman, Jim Mendrinos, Jim Higley, to name just a few. Alan Zweibel, award-winning comedy writer, Thurber Prize winner, and co-author (with Dave Barry) of Lunatics writes, “Michele Wojciechowski’s humor is so smart, insightful, and witty that for a moment I thought I was reading something I’d written.”
4. Famous folks in the real estate market think it’s funny. My Realtor, Sandy Smith, even wrote the Foreword. Margaret M. Kelly, CEO RE/MAX writes, “Anyone who’s selling a home or considering it will enjoy the humor and candor in Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box…”
5. I’m a giver. To launch Next Time I Move I’m doing a fundraising comedy night Saturday, September 15 at The Catholic High School of Baltimore. Proceeds will benefit the school.