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My New Year RIDS-olutions!

2 Jan

Good luck, honey!

  1. I will downsize. This will involve donating 25 years + of crap (nonsense, rubbish, junk) that I no longer use and not getting new crap (nonsense, rubbish, junk). Clutter (see “crap”) is not only “stuck energy” – it is a real hassle to dust.
  2. I will rid myself of the tendency to complain, whine, and kvetch. Gee, this is so hard to do… Whaa! Whaa! Whaa! OMG, what will I write about? Whaaaa!
  3. No matter how compelling the separation issues may be, the laptop and cell phone will not be taken into the bathroom. Too many close calls (get it? calls?)
  4. I will try not to stoop to the level of cheap puns and scatological humor (unless, of course, it amuses me and tickles the dog).
  5. I will stop harboring the desire to eat an entire double-decker box of dark chocolate covered cherries in one sitting unless I’m given a month to live or have really bad PMS, then all bets are off.
  6. However captivating it is to my Twitter followers, I will not tweet inappropriately from (i.e. nice restaurants, children’s birthday parties, business meetings, dental appointments, bed, car accidents, funerals, etc.). Social propriety trumps the compulsion to provide non-stop yuks (often at the expense of loved ones) to total strangers.
  7. I will stop using the Lord’s name (and the Duggars) in vain. Amen.
  8. When dressed in exercise clothes, I will actually make a serious effort to go to the gym and exercise.
  9. I will stop considering french fries “vegetables” and strawberry licorice “fruit.”
  10. I will not pull on my cuticles and shred them like confetti, no matter how dry they are or how excruciatingly boring the meeting/conversation/TV show is.

Minus 12 Grams Fiber

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