Weekend Funny 5
18 May
TGIF!
Every Friday I will feature 5 LINKS to LAUGHTER. Enjoy!
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Credit: theknot.com.au
Funny Or Die – Cats with hats http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/690d
PunEmployed
1 Mar
Will work for chocolate…
With unemployment and underemployment so high, many of us are reinventing ourselves professionally.
Baby Boomers, I’m not just talking to you!
You may need to rethink your life mission, your calling, your purpose. Have you perhaps considered these little known professions? Tell me yours!
* How about?
Tarot Card Scholar
Cleanse Coach
Gumball Historian
Pity Party Planner
Hairball Stylist
Aroma Therapy Artist
Disgusting Flavor Jellybean Taster
Twitter Addiction Therapist
Social Media Profile Photo Consultant
Spam Chef
Diva Enabler
Sleep Coach
Clutter Creator
Principal Caregiver to All Devices Electronic
Rant Management Supervisor
Canine Audio Mitigation Specialist
Goldfish Grief Counselor
Zombie Health Practitioner
Ridiculous Excuse Inventor
Spinner to the Stars
Post-It Technician
Procrastination Coordinator
Giggle Facilitator
Sand Castle CEO
Piggy Bank CFO
Prevarication Tutor
Brain Fart Expert
Food Cravings Blogger
Novelty Piercing Retailer
Dream Consultant
Trampoline Tester
Mirth Maven
Government Pork Regulator
Private Parts Investigator
Jellyfish De-boner
Donkey Behaviorist
Dementia Bracelet Designer
Geriatric Sex Counselor
Houseplant Psychiatrist
DVR Instructor
Memory Engineer
“Men Only Spa” Alcoholic Beverage Coordinator
Pekingese Etiquette Coach
“Girls Night Out” Feelings Auditor
Lollipop Historian
Adult Entertainment Researcher
Spanx Trainer
Pet Wedding Photographer
Professional Wallet Organizer
Candle Counter
I’ll bet you have one… Tell me yours!
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The Scarlet Letter
20 Feb
Credit: theknot.com.auIn Scrabble, the letter “F” merits a respectable four points. There are only two “F” tiles in the game set, which makes the number of words you can form with the letter “F” relatively limited.
In the real world, the “F” word is everywhere.
In the evolution of the English language, when did “Oh, darn!” become “Oh, Fu#!” What happened to “friggin?” When did “fudge” deteriorate into “Fu#!”?
When did “take the F train” become “take the ‘Fu#!-ing’ train?”
When did dropping the F-bomb so casually become the status quo?
“F” used to convey a meaning of failure. A rude, red “F” on a spelling quiz or a math exam would elicit disappointment, or at the least – some extra homework. Now, “F” means “Fantastic! Fabulous! Good effort! You’re gifted.“
Thank you, Adam Mansbach for your mega bestseller, “Go The F**k To Sleep.”
I’m writing a new book entitled “Stop hurling the “F” word every five seconds because you’re coarsening the language and culture. Plus it’s lazy and boring!”
At some point, talking like a truck driver became cooler than driving a truck. But like carbon emissions, sulfur dioxide, and lead, “F” contributes to air pollution.
We expect a liberal use of the “F” word from sailors, soldiers, pimps, graffiti artists, New Jersey housewives, Vice Presidents, and F-list stand-up comics, but not from role models or mommy bloggers.
Overheard at the dinner table:
Ten year old daughter: “Mommy uses the “F” word on her blog!”
Hubs (to Mom): “You do?”
Mom: “No, of course not. Well, sometimes, but -”
Daughter: “You shouldn’t say ‘butt’ either.”
Mom: “Sweetheart, I’m a writer. I have poetic license.”
Daughter: “I saw the “F” word twice on your last post.”
Hubs: “Great. I hope my parents don’t read your blog.”
Daughter: “And she says it on Twitter ALL the time!”
Hubs: “Geez…”
Mom: “Well, you know, everyone else does it…”
Daughter: “In CAPS. On Twitter. That’s like yelling it.”
Mom: “It’s for dramatic effect. I’m using the vernacular. Look it up, honey.”
Daughter: “In the dictionary?”
Mom: “Just Google it. V-E-R-”
Daughter: “Never mind, Mommy. Fu#!” it!”
*****
What do you think?
Related articles
- “Go The F**k To Sleep” Author Adam Mansbach (omnivoracious.com)
Related articles
- “Go The F**k To Sleep” Author Adam Mansbach (omnivoracious.com)
- The Scarlet Letter (barbsblast.wordpress.com)
Let There be Light
6 Dec
“Popular Science” doesn’t have to be an oxymoron.
Exciting, entertaining, and even sexy news emerges daily from the bright world of scientific innovation. For instance:
From The Washington Post – How to de-stress law school students before exams? Puppies!
Equal time for cats (or cat scans) of course.
How to scan a Stradivarius? NPR Music: CT Scans Re-Create 307 Year Old Violin
Courtesy of RSNA.org & NPR
Here’s a fish that must be low in calories. What is an x-ray fish, you may ask? Why, here is a brief description: ehow.com
the x-ray fish
“Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heartbeat?”
“A new study shows that 3-month-old infants and their mothers can synchronize their heartbeats to mere milliseconds.”
ScienceShot: Human Hearts Beat Together by Meghan Rosen http://bit.ly/vbQLmX
Saved the best for last. Here’s a HOT news flash:
MRI scan video shows female orgasm ‘illuminates’ every region of brain (news.bioscholar.com)
I'll have what she's having!
Enlightening article from Time Magazine:
Photo credits: x-ray fish (forum.rpg.net) and puppy (wikimedia commons)
Related articles
- MRI scan video shows female orgasm ‘illuminates’ every region of brain (news.bioscholar.com)
- X-ray images help create best Stradivarius rip-offs (newscientist.com)
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