Weekend Funny 5
18 May
TGIF!
Every Friday I will feature 5 LINKS to LAUGHTER. Enjoy!
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photo credit: Heidiclaire.blogspot.com
I Feel Your Pain
15 May
Ouch!
PAIN. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
Pain, of course, is entirely relative.
Pain – the noun:
1) A feeling of marked discomfort, a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: “She has severe pains in her arse, most probably due to sitting at the computer/at work/in the car all day.”
“Jury duty can be quite a pain in the neck.”
“Her boss gives her the most excruciating pain in her head and eyeballs.”
2) Mental suffering or distress : “During the holidays, I am plagued by the pain of listening politely to relatives pontificate on politics, religion, and reality TV.”
“Waiting for hours in this line at the DMV is killing me. Oh, the pain. ARRRGH!”
“Will the Kardashians ever stop inflicting such pain upon the culture and just drop off the damn planet?”
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
3) An annoying or tedious, troublesome person or thing: “Kim’s a pain. Khloe’s a pain. Kourtney’s a pain. Kris is a royal pain.”
4) Laborious or careful efforts; assiduous care: “Great pains have been taken to cover the crimson, pulsing pimple on my nose.”
“I take tremendous pains to order take-out for dinner. Boo hoo.”
Pain – the verb:
1) Cause mental or physical pain to: “It pains me to say this, but your butt looks huge in those horizontal stripes.”
Pain – phrase:
1) No pain, no gain: “Suffering is necessary in order to achieve something such as losing that last 15 pounds, getting the kids to do their homework, watching The Kardashians, and finishing this blog post on deadline.”
My favorite “pain.” Ah, oui.
pains au chocolat (Photo credit: LORO Languages Open Resources Online)
Great story about LUCILLE BALL and PAIN she suffered as a young adult:
*Lucille Ball: Comedienne and
Rheumatoid Arthritis Sufferer
Few People Realize That Lucille Ball Suffered With Rheumatoid Arthritis
By Carol Eustice, About.com Guide (Updated October 18, 2011)
MAILONLINE.COM PUBLISHED: 11:15 EST, 10 May 2012 | UPDATED:11:45 EST, 10 May 2012
*The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter
Health Benefits of Laughter: Stress Relief, Immunity, and More
By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide Updated January 10, 2011
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Copyright 2012, Barb Best
Follow me on Twitter @HaBarb
Mom Advice for 20-Somethings
8 May
In honor of Mother’s Day, here is my advice for our darling, little 20-Somethings… many of whom are “boomerang kids” or low flying offspring of helicopter parents.
1. Look both ways before crossing the street, but more importantly – look UP from your cell phone. Whoa! That is a mack truck careening toward you.
2. Don’t run with a bad crowd or with scissors. Especially don’t run with a bad crowd who bandies scissors.
3. Don’t email or text nude photos of yourself to some schmuck unless you wish to be disinherited.
4. Don’t take Benadryl unless you have a dramatic allergic reaction and a designated driver.
5. Don’t buy generic paper goods. They crumble.
6. Don’t bother learning to parallel park. It’s an exercise in futility.
7. Don’t help yourself to the dog’s prescriptions to save money. You may end up with roundworms. Roundworms look like pieces of cooked spaghetti in your poop. You have to admit that is pretty darn gross.
8. Brush.
9. Floss.
10. (daughters) Don’t marry a guy who refers to his mother (or me) as “that crazy bitch.”
11. (sons) Don’t bend over naked and swing your private parts in front of the cat.
12. Tattoos larger than a Post-it? See #3.
13. Nipples were not designed to bear the weight of gold hoop earrings. (Come to think of it, neither were earlobes.)
14.Wash your hair before job interviews, weddings (yours and others), funerals (mine definitely), and TV appearances.
15. Don’t go to a shrink whose dog is on Prozac.
16. For God’s sake, use Kleenex… even if you think nobody’s watching.
17. Don’t post the “F word” all over the internet. It may come back to bite you in the “f#!&-ing” ass… forever!
18. Do as I say, not as I do or as I did or as I wish I did.
19. Never offer a mysterious stranger on the subway a massage.
20. Don’t eat in a restaurant/bar that has sawdust on the floor. Mixed in with the shavings are piles of filth, insect excrement, and black widow spiders.
21. Don’t cut your own bangs. Trust me, always a mistake.
22. Be kind, calm, and strong. Or at least learn to fake it reasonably well.
23. Don’t put your chewed gum on the edge of your dinner plate. It’s disturbing on many levels.
24. Don’t be confrontational to cops. They have clubs, pepper spray, tasers, 9 mm semi-automatics, and occasionally anger management issues.
25. Don’t forget to call me on Mother’s Day 
What advice do you have for 20-Somethings? Let us know!
GIRLS on HBO – Hilarious opening scene with 20-Something and her parents:
GREAT article - What Is It About 20-Somethings?
By ROBIN MARANTZ HENIG August 18, 2010 The New York Times
Photo Snap
30 Apr
- Cover of Wishful Drinking
Say cheese! Snap, snap, snap! Pictures from the road…
Hilarious!
Caught Carrie Fisher’s “Wishful Drinking” show at the Victoria Theatre in Dayton, OH. She’s touring the country, you’ll love it. Based on her book.
One World Trade Center
NYC. Shot this pic from a cemetery at a church east of Ground Zero. It is the new One World Trade Center, now taller than the Empire State Building.
The Statue of Advertising
Selling light bulbs. And not even those twisty, super expensive ones.
Yum!
Give me your tired, your poor, your licorice lovers. Thank you Twizzler, very cool.
I’m suggesting an alternate name for this restaurant – “Sick Real Quick”
Disclaimer: Just kidding, I actually ate at this restaurant, it’s great! It’s in a Manhattan neighborhood dubbed “Curry Hill.”
The famous Woolworth Building on lower Broadway. Stay out. Dogs and actors, too.
Homeless on Wall Street. Don’t you love irony? I know you do.
Facial napkins (aka Kleenex) made from counterfeit hundred dollar bills. Just what I need when my allergies are flaring. Hmm, the dollar is pretty low – maybe these are real bills?
Map it!
Who needs a subway map or an iPhone APP when you’re wearing these nifty flip-flops?
Charming and funny play “Love, Loss, and What I Wore” by Nora Ephron & Delia Ephron based on the charming book by (you guessed it!) the charming Ilene Beckerman.
Related articles
Promotional image (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Mirth Mother Erma Bombeck
13 Apr
THANK YOU ERMA!
We baby boomers share a common “Mirth Mother” in beloved humorist and best selling author Erma Bombeck.
We were weaned on Erma’s wise and witty columns via newspaper clippings that our mothers proudly posted on the refrigerator door (this served as a blog in ancient times.)
While many of our mothers were marginalized by stunted cultural expectations and a crying lack of opportunity, Erma broke through those prickly barriers of her day with brilliant humor and unforgettable humanity to provide Mom with a powerful voice and much needed comic relief.
Sweetly subversive and hot damn hilarious, Erma poked enormous fun at the absurdity of women’s lives yet clearly valued parenting, marriage, and the vital importance for us all to fulfill our potential.
photo credit: Heidiclaire.blogspot.comErma epitomized “The One Who Does It All” – successful career, happy family – not to mention fame and fortune – all while being incredibly funny and (genuinely) nice. No small feat, but a worthy goal!
Let us thank “Erma Bombeck, Mirth Mother“ for blessing us with the inspiration, the role model and the legacy of laughter. (Now sit up straight and stop chewing with your mouth open!)
Barb Best
Barb Best, 2010 Erma Bombeck Global Humor Winner
Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop
Related articles
- If I had my life to live over ~ Erma Bombeck (missunderstoodgenius.wordpress.com)
