1 – Don’t read the New York Post crime blotter as your bedtime reading. The grotesque stories will sneak into your sexy sweet fairy dreams and turn them into a night terror, perhaps a myocardial infarction.
2 – Don’t drink a double espresso, a Red Bull, or more wine than your body weight divided by 2.5.
3 – Don’t sleep with your cell phone unless you are planning to marry it. Make sure it doesn’t want children. [...]
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. — Bob Hope
Joel L. Schwartz, M.D. The Stress Less Shrink
Before you look down your nose on a clown nose…
It’s important to realize that therapeutic humor is a valuable tool to help others.
Think of those who battle cancer and chronic illness, nurse patients with spinal cord injuries and traumatic brain injury, comfort the dying, care for a parent with Alzheimer’s, cope with the death of a son in a car accident, deal with the legacy of alcoholic parents, struggle with the aftermath of rape, miscarriages, teenage suicide. ARRGH! Unfortunately, “Pain and Suffering” is a reality show playing in all of our neighborhoods.
Hard to believe, but I’m told some people stress out over a lost earring (not me!) or a missed plane (never!) or (God forbid!) a lousy internet connection. (Can you hear me? Is this working?)
(I sincerely hope you haven’t slipped and cut your knee on a New Year’s Day “fitness” hike, come down with the flu, succumbed to a stubborn vocal cord infection and laryngitis, had a collision with a parking garage pole, received a swollen lip from the car door, broken an expensive glass vase in a gift store, and agreed to go to the movie Zero Dark Thirty on your wedding anniversary.)
If so (or worse!)… I feel your pain.
Speaking of pain, here are some Robitussin-induced musings: [...]
“The commonly cited statistic is that the average American will consume more than 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving Day alone. That’s according to the Calorie Control Council,”
Calories Schmalories! Who’s counting anyway?
SO GLAD I REFUSE TO BE AVERAGE!!! 4500 calories? Sum 1 isn’t trying very hard!
Are you a Worry Wart? A Grade A Hypochondriac? Or just a Mom Who Cares?
Afraid of getting the flu this year? Of course you are!
I feel your pain.
5 Flu Prevention Tips JUST for YOU!
Don’t shake hands with anyone. Pretend you’re Japanese and bow humbly from a distance.
Don’t touch elevator buttons, escalator handles, stair railings, or any of your kid’s clothing (especially shirt sleeves as they are SO often used asKleenex) WITH YOUR HANDS. This will require you to be creative AND limber.
Bubble wrap your toddler on play dates. Also limits collateral damage of all sorts. Parents will love you.
If you even begin to feel slightly sick at work or at school, think Ferris Bueller. Better safe than sorry.
Avoid flying, especially in coach. Upgrade to First Class where you can minimize contact with scads of runny-nosed peeps – plus the free booze they give you will kill all kinds of nasty germs.
This may prove to be a tad expensive – 3 or 4 times the coach fare. And that, my friends, is nothing to sneeze at.
WTF? $1239? I’ll use a different credit card – Warren Buffet’s.
Do you have any flu prevention tips? Sharing is caring.
