Reality TV: Junk Food for the Soul

8 Jan

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Like computer worms and flesh eating bacteria, “Reality TV” just won’t go away.

Amazing how it simultaneously entertains and horrifies.

Yes, some of the people are interesting in often the most mind-boggling ways… but are they fascinating? Barbara Walters thinks so.

Yes, America – Pop culture has officially become Poop Culture. The Learning Channel has become The Earning Channel. Honey Boo Boo is Money Boo Boo.

And yet, there are lessons!

Here’s what I’ve Learned from Reality TV:

- Your less than average narcissistic moron can get a reality TV show if they have a celebrity sex tape or a Pageant Coach.

- Don’t blow your nose on a washcloth… especially on HD TV. It looks like an elephant tap dancing.

- The Grammar Police should commission SWAT Teams to nail the many language culprits on reality TV.

- When the highlight of your week is a visit from a pig… perhaps you need a stronger pick-me-up than a swig of Go-Go Juice.

- Honey Boo Boo’s extreme couponer Mamma June has a larger vocabulary than all of the Kardashians. Case in point: “We have a plethora of toilet paper.”

- You can save a shipload of cash on organic chicken and Lean Cuisines by eating roadkill for dinner. Yum?

- Losing 200 pounds is a laudable example of “an ultimate goal.” Nobody needs 5 chins.

- “Etiquettely” is apparently used as an adverb in select parts of rural Georgia.

- A trip to an “All-You-Can-Eat” buffet qualifies as an eighth “shack-up” anniversary date.

- The crazy Osbournes started this f#!*ing idiocy. Maybe they should finish it.

What have YOU learned from Reality TV?

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8 Responses to “Reality TV: Junk Food for the Soul”

  1. Pearl January 10, 2013 at 11:53 am #

    I’ve learned — via Cops — that there’s nothing so gratifying as a guy in a wife-beater hauling ass through a swamp with the cops hot on his tail because – hey! – he just might make it.

    :-)

    Pearl

    • Barb Best January 11, 2013 at 11:15 am #

      Yes, Pearl. Also, the live cop chases on freeways are popular TV entertainment in Southern CA. Thank you, OJ.

  2. Agata Stanford January 11, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    I noticed in the TV listings last Sunday that Downton Abbey was airing at the same time as Honey Boo-Boo’s show. A plethora of diversity. I wonder who scored higher in the ratings that night?

    • Barb Best January 11, 2013 at 5:13 pm #

      A plethora of diversity indeed! No worry, Downtown Abbey Season 3 premiered at 7.9 million viewers!

  3. Tom Sullivan January 14, 2013 at 1:46 pm #

    Dug this. Off to work on my sex tape. Does it need to include others?

    • Barb Best January 16, 2013 at 10:57 am #

      LOL! Your choice.

  4. Lisa Tognola January 20, 2013 at 6:59 am #

    I’ve learned to stick with sitcoms!

    • Barb Best January 21, 2013 at 8:43 pm #

      Good idea!